We can’t think of a better topic to explore today than the topic of Forgiveness. It is such an important & vital element to the enrichment of our Self. Prevalent in religious texts, books, fairytales, & from our parents & teachers,and yet, it is seldom practiced in our lives today. Governed by machines, technology & material possessions, we have discarded this in a dusty corner of our minds & forgotten about it.
Without forgiveness, as a species we would have been extinct centuries ago. Imagine if we all held onto all the slights & infractions we’ve come across in our lives without learning how to forgive, we would descend into chaos & go insane in the process! People would not trust each other with anything, we would all most likely develop some intense mental problems from being too hard on ourselves, it would all be a very big mess indeed.(Sounds like reality, true?).
We talked about learning from our mistakes yesterday: how to perceive the situation as an opportunity for growth & understanding. Well, forgiveness plays a big part in this process.
A negative situation may arise from a mix of different requirements from lapse of judgement, lack of information, unclear thinking & maybe even bad weather. Once that flow is interrupted it can throw us off balance. We can’t help but lose our heads over it, which is fine. Yell & scream for as long as you want! So long you remember to ground yourselves again, then we can get right back on track.
Here’s one handy tip to remember that helps you feel less torn up about being in a negative situation. The cosmic mechanics of the Universe & energy flow in a ‘vortex’ shape. That is, the vibrations spiral around each other in an endless loop, but as we move forwards in our lives, so does Time. When we find ourselves in situations that seem familiar it’s because it is familiar. Until we learn the lessons we need to learn the Universe will keep showing them to us. Ergo, if we want to break out of these cycles, we must do everything in our power to make sure we take advantage of every opportunity that comes our way.
We’ve been masters of kicking ourselves for every little thing. Certain thoughts, actions & occasions breed the right conditions for self-deprecation & self-criticism to grow. We tend to be the worst judge when it comes to our own actions. We criticize harshly & have long memories. Even though when it comes to others, we are quick to forgive & forget. It’s funny how it works, isn’t it? Indeed is also true the opposite.
You see map is not the territory and reality is not matter of perception. Inevitably we all apply filters to external reality. This filters made upon memories and strories apply distortion, deletion, personalization as naom Chomsky would suggest, therefore the inner state that result from the filtering may be various and very individual. We wont to be mindful of this if we are willing to improve ourselves and improve at the same time the way we inevitably respond to external stimuly.
But as we mentioned before; when we take responsibility & accept that when something is done, it is done. There is no magical undo-button that we can press to make it all go away. Sure, it can suck & we can regret it, but it is not necessary to feel an inordinate amount of guilt & remorse over it. We don’t want to carry that mistake for the rest of our lives, do we? No, we take the lesson & let it go as it no longer serves our purpose.
We’re not referring only to the comments we might make or the behaviours we act out, but also the emotional attachment that forms to the situation where forgiveness is required. When emotions such as anger, jealousy, sadness, fear are involved, it becomes cloudy. But we’ve learned the hard way, through many of our own experiences that sometimes, what our minds think is not necessarily the reality all the time.
Emotions are a chemical & physiological reaction to external stimuli. They rush our bodies with endorphins, chemicals & feelings to invoke certain states of mind. But we are not our emotions. We are the observer behind them. We cannot stop our emotions, but we can control & be aware of how we act because of them.
Contrary to popular (& incorrect) belief, forgiveness doesn’t mean the blind acceptance of a certain behaviour without having to deal with the consequences. Forgiveness is the acceptance of the responsibilities to a behaviour or situation that has caused harm to ourselves or others WITH the intention to make it better, not to repeat it, to build something new from the ashes & ultimately, to evolve towards a higher sense of awareness & Being.
One of the responsibilities necessary to thrive in a situation of a mistake is to let it go & stand up again to make it better. To pick ourselves up by the short & curlies, brush off the dust & keep going. Someone once told us – ‘’It’s no use dragging your feet through the mud because it’ll just take you longer to get to the other side.’’ We may already be knee-deep in it, but that doesn’t mean that we have to drown.
Once we learn to forgive ourselves, it becomes easier to forgive others. The time has come for us, all of us to come into our power. Now is the time for us to change our Story so far & walk down a new path towards a higher existence. To embrace & adopt behaviours, thinking & perspectives that allow Love, Compassion & Kindness to grow & flourish.
Forgiveness & Compassion are two words for the same thing. The idea that the ones to whom we direct our anger & frustration towards are the very individuals who are in need of Love. Be it our own self or others who have wronged us.
‘’I walk through excellence now & that allows me to forgive myself & others in acts of compassion.’’
In fact, put this book down & find a mirror. Take a good look at yourself; at your imperfections, your past mistakes, your current Present, everything. Then look deep into your own eyes – those perfect globes of pure light & the windows of our Soul, pronounce to yourself:
‘’I forgive you for all that you have done, all the mistakes that you have made & I love you because you have always forgiven me.’’
Give yourself a big smile & remember that you are Excellent.