We are all human. We live, breathe, laugh, cry & dream. Above all, we are not perfect. We are all works in progress; sentient creations currently being forged in the fires of our existence. During this evolution of Self we are bound to encounter a hiccup here & there, After all, a smooth sea a sailor does not make. We make mistakes & have accidents. In fact, they’ve been with us since we came into this world. Our first fall. Our first white lie. These moments make up the cuts, bruises & scars we carry in our hearts & on our bodies. They are our mementos.
At times, they serve as lessons, others reminders. The mistakes we make come in a variety of shapes & sizes. It can be as little as buying the wrong kind of hummus or getting lost. But sometimes, these mistakes run deeper than the everyday & take hold of something more important than groceries. They have the power to affect our lives, our perceptions & our decisions…if we let them.
‘’nobody likes to makes mistakes, but inevitably we all do.’’
What is a mistake?
A mistake is fundamentally nothing more than the result of an action or to a thought or to an emotion (this three are connected together, we will see in later days how). A mistake has nothing different from any other result really.
The only difference consists in the fact that the “mistake” result could be less pleasant than others or, more likely to be, something we have not expected and not necessarily something we want in life. After all, if we don’t want a miss-take or a miss-taking, we just need to decide that we took something, so we don’t miss anything after all. Decide to take the lesson, and that will do.
With the right mentality, mistakes can be the best teachers in the world. And like the best teachers; with a helping of tough love, they can serve to impart some of the most important lessons of our lives.
We are not the sum of our mistakes, rather the culmulation of knowledge we have learnt from them. It serves us no purpose if we continue to carry our mistakes with us for the rest of our lives. It just becomes extra baggage & limits us to the endless possibilities that lay before us.
We mentioned in the previous ‘’Day of Excellence’’ that wherever you focus your attention, the effects of that place, person or idea grows exponentially. What you feed, flourishes. So if you only label & see the mistakes you make as a mistake, it will be much harder to learn from it. By channeling your energy & attention at the fact that you made a mistake, you will only serve to feed self-deprecating, unconstructive thoughts.
It’s such a simple mistake, how could I have not noticed it?
If only I was concentrating, then I wouldn’t have made this mistake
I know that I shouldn’t have done it, why am I so stupid?
I should know better…
I shouldn’t have done/said that…
Sound familiar? Don’t worry, we all have these thoughts when the mistake first occurs. It’s a very natural reaction to beat ourselves up over our infractions at the start. After all, it’s like throwing a big glob of paint at a picture. It disrupts the original flow of thought or action; jarring the whole situation by adding an unexpected dimension to it. But as the great Bob Ross once said – ‘’There’s no such thing as mistakes, only happy little accidents.’’
We tell ourselves that ‘’everyone makes mistakes’’ & like to think that we will be quite forgiving about it, but when it actually happens, there’s no telling what our reactions will be. Anger, frustration, shame, sadness. These emotions have certainly reared their head at one time or another. Again, this is okay to feel these emotions. What isn’t okay is if we continue to entertain these thoughts. If we direct & perpetuate that negativity towards ourselves, we may lose sight of this opportunity in disguise.
Now, imagine if we viewed our mistakes in a different light. Rather than see this happening as a mark against our character or a giant conspiracy by the Universe to throw us off balance, we recommend you to look at it from the point of view as a growing process. This is an opportunity to perhaps revisit old, unfulfilled trauma or bring to light lessons that need to be learnt to help you evolve. Rather than lament at the fact that it’s happened, it would be much more productive to acknowledge that this has happened/is happening, accept it, learn from it & move on. Within every ‘’bad’’ experience, there is always a silver lining. There is always a nugget of positivity that can be found from it.
This is something that I can fix…
It’s okay, it’s not as bad as I first thought..
Okay, so now I know for next time..
That was a close call! It could have been worse..
I’m still in one piece!
I’m glad to be alive after that!
How can I be the better version of myself after this?
Sometimes you may have to dig a little deeper but it will always be found. So, when you look at your situation from an alternative, creative & fulfilling perspective you will be able to see a much more positive, and therefore, productive way of solving the mistakes. It is up to us to troubleshoot our own problems. If we are the ones who made this mistake, then we will be the ones who will fix it. After all, where our attention goes, energy flows!
By accepting full responsibility of the mistake as an unintentional result of your actions, not only do we take charge of our own selves, but we instill a sense of awareness of our thoughts & actions, & the consequences they bear.
And thus, we come back to the previous topics of aligning with our True Selves. Because it is within our True Selves that the answers we seek can be found. If you feel like you’ve made a particularly big mistake, we find that it helps to go to your Safe Place – a place of calm, peace & clarity where we can see the situation more clearly.
Sit down quietly and breathe with intention. Establish a relationship with your true self & give thanks to the mistake that have arrived to teach you something. Eventually in this qualitative state of mind your true self will know what to do with it. By utilizing our Safe Place to its full effectiveness (or as much as you can at the moment anyway!) it allows us to separate from the external environment for a moment. To remove the chaos from the equation so that we may be able to find an answer.
If you still find yourself stuck & answer-less; which can often be the case, it’s simple! Start asking questions!
What is this teaching me?
What can I do with this?
What is the message?
What can I do to get out of this situation?
How can I improve myself knowing what I’ve learnt from this mistake now?
How can I be a better version of myself knowing now what this situation taught me?
When in doubt, ask questions. Questions are the highway to access the infinite information space in the super consciousness. Ask & ye shall receive. All we need to make sure is that we ask the right questions. It can take a little time & effort, but then you will eventually get an answer. Now, whether or not you like the answer is a whole different kettle of fish!
If you ask questions like ‘’how did this happen to me?” then you will only receive this information & nothing more. This will not allow you to move on. Of course, this is useful to know so that you can recognize the conditions for future use, but try not to linger on it. We have far more empowering questions to ask.
An empowering question is a question that allows you to make effective choices & take affirmative action.
As we mentioned before, if you adopt a more constructive & positive approach, then you can ask questions such as “How can I be a better version of myself knowing now what this situation taught me?” that is when the magic starts to happen. Like a magician revealing their secrets, the previous illusion suddenly becomes a series of understandable steps that serve to dispel the mystery.
In fact, we already do this. Whether we are conscious of it or not, we ask questions all the time. Today’s topic serves to draw attention to our natural habits so that we can choose to change them. We are the vessel & channel for our thoughts, emotions & actions, but we are not slaves to them. By taking charge of our inner workings, we unearth the mysteries beneath the skin & in that lump of grey matter between our ears. Once we understand this, Life and all its little synchronicities can be harnessed to maximise our own potential & it all becomes our very own choose-your-adventure book with limitless possibilities.
Life is an open-sourced environment. Many different elements come & go within it, the scenery changes & we’ll find ourselves on many different adventures. But as long as we remember that we are the protagonists of our own Story we then have the power to make choices that serve to benefit us. Even changing the story if we pleases.
Our experiences – mistakes & otherwise, serve to enrich, teach & empower us to come into our own Being. We do not blame a flower for growing sideways or out of a crack in the pavement & say that ‘’oh, that flower shouldn’t be doing that there, it’s all wrong’’. In fact; the flower doesn’t regret its choice of location but continues to survive to the best of its ability. Then we applaud its tenacity & spirit. Heck, we even take pictures of it & use it as a moral tale.
The funny thing about Human consciousness is that we only learn from our mistakes – that is, only after they have come to pass then we understand what it is trying to teach us. And sometimes it takes several goes! But armed with gratitude, humility & questions, we will be more prepared for all that comes our way.
So let’s learn from our mistakes, embrace our teachers & be a bit more forgiving on ourselves. As always, continue to do your best & have an excellent day!
P.S: If you would like to explore more about the subject of asking the right questions & learning how to reframe your mentality, we approach this in our Manifest – Action & ABM Method workshops. Simply head to our website to find out more!